Across the sea of space and time, the reverberation and emotional chaos of the hospital had no relevance, as this was far behind me now, together with the remarks made at dinner by my partner. Because he didn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage, everyone called him my partner, but it was known in certain circles that he sought to dominate my every move, and they were baffled as to why I was still living with this man. It never occurred to me to alter my life, as I still felt love towards him; so as a consequence I endured the abuse.
This all took place in the early nineteen eighties; a period of world recession, forcing many to live on the bread line, and a time when my partner and I decided to buy another vehicle which we turned into a private hire taxi. I drove during the day, and he covered the night shift. This worked well, as it gave me flexibility around my daughter’s school times, in addition to which I love, driving and being around people. Indeed for a couple of years it meant we maintained our previous standard of living. That is until panic set in when I found out I was over three months pregnant. Still undeterred I continued to drive the taxi. Indeed it was while I was doing this that I experienced horrendous pains in the area below my stomach, and was rushed to the hospital.
Unbeknown to me, I lost several pints of blood, which meant the doctors had to operate as they couldn’t find my baby’s heartbeat. Two years previous to this, in 1982, I’d undergone a small operation to remove part of my cervix which was cancerous, at which time I was told that in order to safely have more children a cervical stitch would be needed. Indeed I was only days away from the procedure… if only?
Seemingly it was when I was in recovery that the nurses lost my pulse, which allegedly only lasted for minutes. I vaguely recall coming around from the anesthetic… then nothing. I remember very little as everything went pitch black. It was at that moment that I found myself floating above my bed. Looking at my physical body and watching the hospital staff rallying around me.
As I looked down at myself, I was mystified as this was the first time I'd seen myself in the flesh, so to speak. Although the person I was, hovering above my bed felt quite a different reality, one which surpassed anything I’d felt in the physical world. Within an instant, I ascended with a calming urgency. The feeling was exquisite; a realisation that at last, the deepest part of my being was free. Enveloped in this incredible energy; simply out of this world, I had the sense of overwhelming, love and peace. I was drowning in it!
Whilst being swept along with considerable haste, I felt an all-embracing darkness; so deep, so dense, yet unrivalled by anything I’d encountered before. Then, still encapsulated by the greatest feeling of joy, I sensed I was not alone and became empowered as the most magnificent, brightest light shone before and around me. Every particle of my being felt a total sensibility, and I was part of its radiance. Through this new-found excitation, I was drawn to move nearer. As my mind thought, so I did, [MJ1] the feeling of purity was intense.
As the sea of souls viewed me across the afterlife in a space where time was non-existent, I perceived a figure moving towards me; the feeling was tremendous and not a particle was squandered, as we communicated for what seemed like an aeon. Strange thing is, I was in complete acceptance of the situation, and in my heart felt truly happy that at last I was on my way home, but why now?
I felt my questions, which I now realised emanated from my mind. As I thought, so he responded in like manner, mind to mind. He told me I had quite a task ahead; that I would surely feel what was needed. He said, “Ask and all will be revealed.” I wanted to abide within the light forever, and even though my desire was beyond measure, I recognized this was not going to happen.
He explained what my task was to be on returning to the physical, the work I’d already chosen before my birth, and ultimately to undertake the work would be my choice. He made me aware that certain aspects of the imparted information would not immediately be accessible in the physical world and that my temporary mortal death had been instigated to release my soul from a self-imposed hell.
Flooding through my mind were the recollections relating to my endless prayers, and how they’d been answered by a Priest of the Catholic Church, who on arriving at the hospital had given me a blessing. This was of great comfort to me, and even then during my ordeal, I felt an electrifying energy surge through my body, the essence of the same energy I was feeling now during my near-death experience.
Then this person continued saying, “You have to go through a period of transition. The knowledge necessary to complete your earthly tasks will have to be recalled in a natural way from your Soul through Spirit. Now you must go back; seek the truth, and it will be made known to you.”
Then I saw this large white hand gently pushing me back, my protests were futile; my descent was inevitable. When my mortal eyes opened, all I could feel was a sickness to the pit of my stomach! A childhood memory recalled; yes I was back in my physical body again.
Then quickly I closed my eyes in an attempt to return to the light, but nothing. The beautiful feeling had gone and been replaced by the deepest of stabbing pains burrowing through my heart, deep down into the depths of my being!